This post was sparked by this discussion.
I have a lot of thoughts about privilege. I will try to be concise, though I may not succeed. I am perhaps, well, privileged when it comes to thinking about privilege. Both my B.A. and M.A. are in Women’s Studies, and I’m now working toward a Ph.D. in WS. This means that I have read A LOT about privilege. It means that I am talking about privilege on an almost daily basis. I teach about privilege. I think (and worry) about privilege and my own privilege pretty much incessantly.
I was first introduced to the theoretical concept of privilege as an undergrad WS student. The article, “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack” by Peggy McIntosh was my first encounter. If interested, you can find it here.
Privilege is not an easy thing to come to terms with. I struggled with it, for sure. My initial reaction to the concept of white privilege was, “But, I’m not racist! I don’t want this privilege! I didn’t ask for it, and I don’t condone it!” And, all of those things are still true. I’m not racist. I don’t want this privilege. I didn’t ask for it. I don’t condone it. AND I still have it. It’s not my choice. Whether I approve or not, our society treats people differently based on the color of their skin. My skin color, being white, affords me certain privileges as I move through my day to day. Some privileges I can perhaps acknowledge and work to change – I can, for example, choose to study and learn the history of groups other than white (male) Americans. I can then work to combat privilege further by sharing what I’ve learned, whether that is in the class I teach, with a child, or with a peer. I also think that acknowledging, interrogating, and being willing to discuss systems of privilege – and this includes owning up to our own privilege – is a way to combat it.
I am privileged in many ways, and I am disadvantaged in others. In the US, I am privileged because of my race, my class, and my physical and mental abilities. I am very privileged in regard to education. I have conflicted privilege in regard to sexuality – I am bisexual (not privileged), yet my partner is male (heterosexual privilege). I am disadvantaged in regard to gender. Globally speaking, I am among the most privileged.
And there is still another way in which I am privileged. I’m thin. I have thin privilege. For example, when getting on a crowded bus this morning, I did not have to worry about getting dirty looks because my body took up “too much” room. 700 Stories did a great job of outlining some concrete examples of thin privilege in her blog post on the subject.
I can add some more. Because of my thin privilege:
A) I can walk down the street without fear of being harrassed about my weight. (I might be harassed for other reasons, but that has to do w/ the fact that I don’t have male privilege).
B) I don’t have to worry about being fired from a job due to my weight. I don’t have to worry about not being hired due to my weight.
C) I don’t have to worry that a desk at school, a seat on the bus, a seat in the movie theater, a seat on an airplane, a seat on an amusement park ride, etc., will be too small.
D) I don’t have to worry about people eyeing what is in my grocery cart.
E) I don’t have to worry that – when being introduced to new people – they will make judgements about me or my lifestyle based on my size.
F) I’m not stared at, snickered at, or self-conscoius when I work out.
G) People don’t assume that I’m not physically fit or that I’m lazy because of my weight. In fact, people might assume that I am fit, or at least active.
H) I can wear a bathing suit in public w/out the fear of being scrutinized.
I) If I (hypothetically) had a child and treated her to ice cream or sweets, my parenting skills would not be judged.
I could go on. But you get the point.
Personally, for me, my thin privilege is in some ways the hardest to come to terms with. This is true on a number of levels. I was a chubby young child, and an overweight pre-teen, early teen. Since the age of 16, I have ranged from underweight to obese, and everywhere in between. My body’s set point is somewhere around a bmi of 24/25. So, on the high end of normal, low end of overweight. I am not at my set point now. I am not underweight, but I am certainly “thin” by pretty much any definition. And I know how much privilege it affords. I can walk into any store (unless it is a “specialty store” for “plus-sized” women), and know without a doubt that they will have my size. I also know that – more often than not – the employees at that store will be helpful, will approach me with a smile, and will not rush me out because I do not fit their store’s “image.” I know that – on a day to day basis – people are MUCH nicer to me when I am thin. I wish it wasn’t true. But, it is. I wish that I wasn’t bolstering the system by maintaining a lower weight than my body wants. But, I am. I wish that thin privilege didn’t make my recovery more difficult. But, it does. It’s not fun to admit.
What we need to keep in mind is that, privilege (thin or otherwise) is NOT about placing blame. It is not about faulting the individual. It’s not really about the individual, actually. Yes, of course oppression and privilege have very concrete ramifications for individuals, don’t get me wrong. But privilege really operates at a much larger level. Privilege and oppression are rooted in societal ideologies, values, structures, and institutions; they are systematic. In many ways, oppression and privilege are two sides of the same societal coin. They are beyond the level of the individual, though individuals, often through no fault or intention of their own, are implicated.
Also keep in mind that the acknowledgment of thin privilege – or oppression generally – does not negate individual suffering. OF COURSE thin people can internalize messages of self-doubt or self-hatred. OF COURSE thin people can be victims of abuse. OF COURSE thin people may feel self-conscious sometimes. OF COURSE a thin person with an e.d. is genuinely in pain. Every person is going to have some suffering, some pain, some hardship – and hopefully lots of joy – in her or his lifetime. Acknowledging and interrogating privilege does not deny or undo that.
And, also keep mind, these systems are not isolated. They weave an incredibly complex web. Like I stated above, I may not be harrassed walking down the street because of my weight, but I may very well be cat-called because we still live in a patriarchal society that normalizes the sexualization and objectification of women. I may even been judged because I am thin – and this can connect to thin privilege too. This judgement may come from others who notice my thin privilege and are (rightfully) hurt that they do not share it. This judgement might be out of concern if someone knows about my eating disorder (which ties into society/oppression/privilege in a number of ways). Or, this judgement might be outside of the realm of privilege/oppression. Not *everything* fits; there are always exceptions. Or, something may seem like it doesn’t fit, and upon further inspection we realize that it is the result of an different and/or interlocking system of disadvantage/privilege. Thin privilege doesn’t operate in a vacuum. No privilege does. These societal structures, systems, and ideologies are always mediated by each other, by individuals, by subject positions, by material realities, and by the fact that they are constantly in flux.
As far as I’m concerned, denying privilege – whether that is thin privilege, white privilege, heterosexual privilege, male privilege, beauty privilege, ableist privilege, Christian privilege, class privilege, etc., etc. – is not helpful. If we do not interrogate these systems and acknowledge our own position in them (even if that position is difficult to reconcile with), we allow them to continue unquestioned, unchallenged, and unseen.
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September 24, 2009 at 8:08 am
Veronica
Sarah – Thanks for inviting us to come here from WATRD. I read your post. It is very insightful & thought-provoking. I hope others that may be concerned or confused by privilege will read it. Maybe MamaV will. Maybe she, as well as all of us, could learn from what you wrote.
I’m sorry to hear of your eating disorder. I can’t imagine what a struggle that may be. My daughter is 26, I don’t think she had an ED. Because I do not have the chance to speak with many that suffer with ED’s, I don’t know a lot about them. Good luck with your recovery.
I feel compelled to say something that might give comfort to you. Being older, it could be assumed I am wiser. I wish I had a way to explain to you, as I wish to explain to my daughter, that we get to choose. This is the one thing I have learned in my life. Regardless of all the BS thrust upon us by society, at the end of the day, it is me that decides and determines my value. No one else. Until & unless I give that power to someone else.
But like I said, I do not understand ED’s, so I won’t insult your intellegence by trying to give you friendly advise on it. Thanks again for your post…
September 24, 2009 at 6:33 pm
sayhealth
Thank you. It felt good to get it all out! Feel free to pass it on if you think it would be helpful for people to read. 🙂
Thank you for your kind and supportive words. It truly means a lot. 🙂 It’s funny . . . I know that I get to choose. Theoretically. I know that I have chosen to live fully, happily, and healthily in spite of society’s b.s. and past traumas. I know that I have been capable of this, and I must believe that I still am. I just have to wrestle Ed out of the driver’s seat once and for all! I’m working on it!
September 24, 2009 at 6:59 pm
Veronica
As I approach 50 yrs old, there are few things I regret, few things I’d done different. My absolute biggest regret is I spent so much time & energy assuming people’s judgement of me had any validity. I am who I am because every day I get up & put energy into what I do, and that is who I become to others & to myself. This happens from my actions & my beliefs, not by someone else’s opinion of me.
I don’t know how to explain it to my amazing daughter so she’ll accept it as truth. So, I make sure I’m available when she let’s the world’s opinion’s of her get her down.
We make choices every single day – little steps along the way, you will get where you want to be, be loving & patient with yourself…
September 24, 2009 at 10:18 am
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September 24, 2009 at 10:44 am
Rachel_in_WY
Well said!
September 24, 2009 at 6:34 pm
sayhealth
Thank you. 🙂 Feel free to pass it on as you see fit!
September 24, 2009 at 6:26 pm
Synna
/agrees with Rachel_in_WY.
Thanks for sharing your experience and knowledge!
September 24, 2009 at 6:34 pm
sayhealth
Thank YOU for reading!
September 29, 2009 at 2:43 pm
mamaV
Hi Sarah: Please feel free to post this in full on WATRD discussion thread of Thin Privilege. I agree with you completely, and you have an excellent way of articulating this complex, emotional issue.
The message I am having a hard time getting through (yes, I know I probably shoot myself in the foot with my attitude and style) is that I understand privilege, I am privy to it, I have never denied it, I would never deny it — its just silly to do so, and I would debate the reality of it as strong as you do above when confronted with a person in denial.
I am objecting to the following:
1) FA individuals on WARTD are appearing to deny the feelings of others, and this I can not allow nor agree with. We have gone around and around with this, and most if not all have explained this is not their intention. I get that and I trust they are genuine. But that is how a thin individual is made to feel, so at a minimum I would like us to get to a point that FA can say “I respect how you feel, I don’t understand it, but I respect it.” (then STOP there, don’t get into the “BUT its worse for me discussion”)
2) FA individuals refusing to take thin women and their body issues seriously. My prodding has finally led some to admit they can not and will not listen to or take advice on body image issues from a thin woman. The rebuttal is that if you are thin, you can not possibly understand what it is to be obese. Agreed 100%. There is no denying this.
But can we not find some similarities? In the spirit of attempting to come together, can we keep this door open?
I can and I will. Will you? I can accept advice and/or listen to an obese woman give me advice about body image, acceptance, confidence, etc. It’s because I don’t see her as some polar opposite, this sounds really dorky, but she is my sister and friend.
When I met with Kate Harding, I was very surprised to hear how her advice, feelings, and perspective with fat acceptance was identical to my advice, feelings, and perspective with eating disordered women. I am talking IDENTICAL. This really made me pause. Actually, it completely freaked me out. I didn’t expect this.
I am not talking “kind of” relating, it was total relating, Kate using the EXACT same words I do to evoke self confidence. There is something bigger here.
It is this that keeps tap, tap tapping me on the shoulder to pay attention. I assure you this is a major stumbling block we need to get through on WARTD, and I believe if we do, we could do amazing things.
3) FA should not use TP as a strategy. When I think about FA attempting to sway the average person to their cause, I envision a total nightmare situation of TP coming up as a topic, and FA losing all the momentum they have gained. In the thin world, the words you use matter — and TP is distinctly different than “Fat Discrimination.” Trust me on this one, leave TP alone, discuss it in your circles, and instead bring out the Fat Discrimination card to gain allies.
I am talking big picture here – for example, if we say an ultimate goal is to have laws against fat discrimination in every state. The words fat discrimination hits hard with the average person, they don’t want it, they don’t want to be a part of it or be accused of being a part of it. But bring in TP, and you have now made it personal. You have now pointed the finger at them (intentional or not)…and its game over.
On this last point, I think this is where my advocacy comes in. FA needs the average person on their side and thin people have the ability to relate to them in a way the obese can not. If I scold a person for making fun of a fat person, it is a lot different than a fat person scolding someone. It’s just the way it is…..and we are all working to change it.
Thank you for caring about this!
mV
September 30, 2009 at 7:08 pm
sayhealth
Hi, MamaV. I’m glad you made it over here to discuss this! I will post this on WATRD; thanks for the offer. Also, I appreciate the time time that you took to read my post and respond so fully.
The Thin Privilege post that I read on WATRD is actually the first entry that I read on the blog. Therefore, I was unaware of past dynamics. However, I have seen those dynamics play out in many different situations, with many different conversations about privilege/discrimination. I think that a) groups who feel silenced by discrimination on a day to day basis oftetimes jump at the opportunity to speak in a space where it feels possible, and b) in our society, individuals often do not talk openly and honestly about oppression, privilege, etc., so when it is talked about, there are often a lot of strong emotions that surface. I think if we all had more practice talking about these issues in open, honest, respectful ways, we would certainly benefit! I do not condone behavior that works to silence people – regardless of identity, politics, etc., etc., – and I absolutely agree with you that it would be far more productive if everyone could respectfully disagree with each others ideas, rather than attacking or silencing!
I think that silencing plays into your second point too. If people feel silenced by society (whether that is because of body size, race, gender, etc.), they often don’t want to hear from members of the dominant group that silences them. Of course, this is counter-productive, because often the members who are actually willing to engage in open discussion from both groups *must* be listened too and respected for us to ever make any progress. I know that, for me, the situation is a bit different because I *have* been obese. I know what that feels like. And, I know that it is hard for me to sometimes hear women who have always been thin talk about what it is or is not like for fat women in society; it’s the same way that I would bristle at a man asserting what it is or is not like for women in society. Of course, I try to temper that. Because some men really do examine male privilege and really do commit to seeing its differential effects. And some thin people do the same in regard to thin privilege. Rationally I know this, and I act on that reason and listen with as open a mind as possible. AND, I do often still have the initial reaction of, “No. You’re not a woman, you don’t have an eating disorder, you’re not an abuse survivor, etc., etc. You don’t understand!” I think we all have those reactions at some points because sometimes that’s absolutely true. I understand the sentiment – and I do think it’s important to temper that knee-jerk reaction and listen and speak respectfully.
I agree with your point about allies. I think that, probably, using the language of fat discrimination will initially bring in allies. Similarly, I wouldn’t walk into a room and throw the word “feminism” all around, b/c that scares people. I would more likely say something like, “gender equality.” However, I think it’s INCREDIBLY important for thin privilege to enter the discussion, and I think that allies play a crucial role here. I think allies should absolutely be drawing attention to and interrogating thin privilege, including their own. If members of a dominant group aren’t willing to call their own privileged position into question, they only reassert their dominance. If I don’t interrogate my white privilege, for example, how can I really show that I’m against racial discrimination? Ideally, I think that anyone – regardless of body type – should be able to bring up the topic of thin privilege, and thin allies need to bolster that conversation. I certainly think, for example, that a person of color should be able to bring up white privilege, and I should bolster that by interrogating and making known my own privileged position. I mean, should women avoid talking about male privilege? Should homosexuals avoid talking about heterosexual privilege? I think we all need to be talking about all of these things – privilege and discrimination. And, practically, I do see why using fat discrimination instead of thin privilege might initially draw more people in. I hate that that is true, however.
October 1, 2009 at 1:09 pm
mamaV
Hi Sarah! I thought I would post my response (again) below so the entire convo can be read if desired. Thanks!
mV
—
The message I am having a hard time getting through (yes, I know I probably shoot myself in the foot with my attitude and style) is that I understand privilege, I am privy to it, I have never denied it, I would never deny it — its just silly to do so, and I would debate the reality of it as strong as you do above when confronted with a person in denial.
I am objecting to the following:
1) FA individuals on WARTD are appearing to deny the feelings of others, and this I can not allow nor agree with. We have gone around and around with this, and most if not all have explained this is not their intention. I get that and I trust they are genuine. But that is how a thin individual is made to feel, so at a minimum I would like us to get to a point that FA can say “I respect how you feel, I don’t understand it, but I respect it.” (then STOP there, don’t get into the “BUT its worse for me discussion”)
2) FA individuals refusing to take thin women and their body issues seriously. My prodding has finally led some to admit they can not and will not listen to or take advice on body image issues from a thin woman. The rebuttal is that if you are thin, you can not possibly understand what it is to be obese. Agreed 100%. There is no denying this.
But can we not find some similarities? In the spirit of attempting to come together, can we keep this door open?
I can and I will. Will you? I can accept advice and/or listen to an obese woman give me advice about body image, acceptance, confidence, etc. It’s because I don’t see her as some polar opposite, this sounds really dorky, but she is my sister and friend.
When I met with Kate Harding, I was very surprised to hear how her advice, feelings, and perspective with fat acceptance was identical to my advice, feelings, and perspective with eating disordered women. I am talking IDENTICAL. This really made me pause. Actually, it completely freaked me out. I didn’t expect this.
I am not talking “kind of” relating, it was total relating, Kate using the EXACT same words I do to evoke self confidence. There is something bigger here.
It is this that keeps tap, tap tapping me on the shoulder to pay attention. I assure you this is a major stumbling block we need to get through on WARTD, and I believe if we do, we could do amazing things.
3) FA should not use TP as a strategy. When I think about FA attempting to sway the average person to their cause, I envision a total nightmare situation of TP coming up as a topic, and FA losing all the momentum they have gained. In the thin world, the words you use matter — and TP is distinctly different than “Fat Discrimination.” Trust me on this one, leave TP alone, discuss it in your circles, and instead bring out the Fat Discrimination card to gain allies.
I am talking big picture here – for example, if we say an ultimate goal is to have laws against fat discrimination in every state. The words fat discrimination hits hard with the average person, they don’t want it, they don’t want to be a part of it or be accused of being a part of it. But bring in TP, and you have now made it personal. You have now pointed the finger at them (intentional or not)…and its game over.
On this last point, I think this is where my advocacy comes in. FA needs the average person on their side and thin people have the ability to relate to them in a way the obese can not. If I scold a person for making fun of a fat person, it is a lot different than a fat person scolding someone. It’s just the way it is…..and we are all working to change it.
Thank you for caring about this!
mV